Too much time on my hands.

Michigan reminded me of Al today. Al Silber, Al from Woman in White, Al from Fiddler.
I feel bad. She wasn't here, and I was.
It's her home, not mine. Although now I feel that Michigan is more my home than Scotland is. Michigan is where my heart is and Scotland is where my "home" is. It's not a home, it's a house.
I thought alot about Al today. Just as I was doing things, normal things, it kinda freaked me out to be honest. There are a couple of her quotes which inspired me and I would like to share them with you. I hope she doesn't mind me posting them here, obviously all content is copyrighted to Alexandra Silber.

"The Sculptor"
The sculptor can see that somewhere deep within a slab of marble, lies an incredible work of art. The sculptor is the only one who can see it, recognise it, bring it out, reveal it to the rest of us".

Ellie's choice words!

Took a stroll through the park with Ellie in her pram, yelling at the pigeons and quacking at the ducks. It was lovely, it was such a nice day here today, fab actually for this time of year. I love Autumn or "Fall" as the yanks call it, I've totally been yankified in recent months! But Autumn is amazing, you can smell the change in the air and feel the winter slowly creeping in. Ellie loves it too, she love getting on her proper coat and picking out which shoes to wear.
So we're walking through the park and an old lady is being taken for a walk by her scruffy dog who looked kind of like a beagle, some kind of hound anyway and Ellie yells "Look , a wee dog", so we go over, we talk, she says hiya to the dog then he got a bit excited and starts licking her and pawing her and being quite "innapropriate" as the yanks would yet again say! So of all things to say, Ellie yells at the top of her lungs "fuck off!"
I just about DIED! She's one ! Obviously instinct told me to yell back at her "NAUGHTY!" So I did. She apologised and said she wouldnt say naughty words but it really did make me wanna giggle!
She makes me smile, the things she says, like she'll come onto the sofa and cuddle me then say "take your shirt off" so random but so cute!
We spend much of the day loading Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore and Tigger into a shopping trolley, then unloading them, then loading them again. Hours of entertainment with three toys and a plastic trolley, or cart (yankish).
She's officially adorable!

Rain.

My baby I love her so much!

It's raining outside again, I know it's not unusual for Scotland but for once, it sounds so pretty. There is this huge harvest moon and it's orange. With a small wisp of cloud straying over it. It actually reminds me of A Midsummer Night's Dream or Romeo and Juliet.
The Street lights are out around here this week so the moon lights the raindrops and they look like sparkles. I can't believe how long I have been gazing out my window, the neighbours are going to think I'm even weirder than I appear, but they do like to watch through their windows at the same time each night when I rehearse my singing pieces! Don't quite know what they think I'm doing but it seems interesting all the same!
Only 5 weeks till London. Now I'm not at uni the time seems to go so slow. I sat alone in the restaurant for 3 hours today, I watched Deal or No Deal and Neighbours and loads more mindless garbage but the time sailed by.
Yet again I sit alone on this god damn laptop, with nothing to do. Why didn't I go to uni?
The questions are all in my brain but something said no, I couldn't do it.
I miss my Michigan family, they called the other night and it was awful saying goodbye.