Self Injury Awareness Day Today!

LETS HELP STOP THIS SHIT!

ITS NOT MY FAULT.


It still infuriates me that people, society don't recognize self injury as a problem, its a fucking epidemic. People need to open their eyes and encourage harmers to GET HELP!
I CAN BEAT THIS
YOU CAN BEAT THIS
ALL IT TAKES IS MOTIVATION AND DEDICATION
LETS START TODAY!

The Butterfly Project.

Today I saw my shrink.

It was awkward.

I spoke ALOT.

He did not.

However......

He taught me a new technique, a technique that I have also heard about through Corinna Fugate (who I have written previous blogs about). It's called the Butterfly Project. Basically it goes like this :

1) Take a sharpie or marker.

2) Draw a butterfly on the area that you usually self harm. It doesn't need to be good, it just has to be there and look remotely like a butterfly.

3) Give your butterfly a name- preferably after someone who cares about you.

My butterfly has two names, one begins with an e and one with an a.

The point of this technique is- if you injure within the time it takes for the butterfly to wear off naturally, then you will have killed your butterfly, however if you donnot injure within that time, your butterfly will live.

It's so simple and I don't know if it's going to work but I shall follow up!

Corinna Fugate- wow!

This girl is amazing!
Seriously hidden talent, she writes about self injury- but her songs transport you to another dimension if you close your eyes and give them a chance.....seriously good!

"Cold"
How can you know what I'm feeling. When it's locked inside.
To wear it on my body, tells what words cannot describe.
A thin red line tells you where the blade has been
So many secrets hiding beneath my skin.

And it's cold
Cold
Out of control.

Locked in the bathroom stall
Leaning against the wall
I know they're all waiting for me
So I'll be as quick as I can be
I see the red but feel no pain
Feels like I'm floating, floating away
And it seems I've become my own prey.

No pain, no gain, no sane
Not today, ice cube cold in hand
To numb this pain

And it's cold
Cold
Out of control

Its all gone.

It's all turned a bit shit in some ways, but in others, it's got better. Only 20 days till i go to London and everything will be evaded for all of 4 days, then back to life, back to shit and back to lies. It's all lies, everything. The fact that I have got better is a lie, I'm worse than ever, the fact that my parents are sorting things "amicably" is lies, they're just using me! Work is all lies, how one minute I am getting a management job, next minute I'm not.
Last night, Abi, Gemma and I decided that our next trip to London wasn't gonna be self indulgent and just a waste of money, we wanted to do something worthwhile. The outcome was a sponsored event entitled "8 shows, 180 autographs". We're basically gonna get people to sponsor us to watch 8 shows in 4 days and get 180 autographs from the casts, then auction the items either online or at a special event. We all think it's gonna be a success. The next issue we had was which charity to give to. We settled on giving half to Cancer Research and half to the ward on which Gemma's dad was on before he died. So we have 3 weeks to plan and iron everything out.
yeeehaaa! Good luck to meeee!